Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Many are of the opinion that to reach higher success in the career ladder, we must have a huge
passion
to follow
while
others see that a fundamental demand to meet their needs. From my perspective, I totally lean forward to the former being a truly meaningful purpose in
life
. It is undeniable that we are living in a 4.0 era where glory and wealth seem like success in society,
that is
why some people think that no matter what jobs they do, they just need to earn as much money as possible to take care of their own
life
and touch a rich ladder. In
this
era, because many people are under peer pressure from the same aged individuals, people who are just 19 to 20 years old have to simultaneously put their heads down on tons of jobs like online selling, freelancers or even coaching courses at night ….to make money in an expensive high-quality
life
.
Therefore
, they may slowly lose their personal time for family and themselves.
On the other hand
, it is not easy to achieve personal goals without great
passion
. Persistence, discipline and
passion
are the top 3 essential things which lift us up to what we want in society like fame, money, and value proposition….If we just hit the company from 8 AM to 5PM and hang out with friends at night every single day like mediocre guys, we will stand in place and never get new triumphs in
life
. In order to get an electric car Tesla Empire, Elon Musk had an enormous
passion
protect
Wrong verb form
for protecting
show examples
this
globe from being air polluted and climate change by fuel vehicles. It must be an unshakable thirst and
passion
to do something extraordinary. In conclusion, there is no nothing absolute, both views are true to each other’s perspective. In my opinion, I truly believe that to reach
further
in the career ladder we must have a burning
passion
to do without giving up.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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task response
You need to ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are not clearly presented. Work on presenting your ideas in a more organized and coherent manner.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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