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Band 5.5

Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individuals sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree?

#people #students #team #sports #football #volleyball #individuals
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In recent years, people are playing different kinds of
sports
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 because they are becoming an integral part of life.
While
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 some folks think that children ought to start to play professional
sports
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 like football and volleyball compared to running and swimming. In my opinion, I disagree that students should not concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
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entry level
Add a hyphen
entry-level
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sports
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. One of the primary
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why students ought to concentrate on running
sports
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 is that it maintains someone's physical fitness.
In other words
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, if students run every
day
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half
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for half
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 an hour, they became fit
from
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apply
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physically.
Furthermore
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, running is one of the important factors to
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 in professional
sports
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.
For example
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, if
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 person needs to enter in
football
Add an article
a football
the football
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team
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, they should pass some running criteria.
Moreover
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,
if
Correct word choice
apply
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any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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football players
also
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 run every
day
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 to improve their fitness. Another point to consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 children should
also
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 swim every
day
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 to become strong.
In other words
Linking Words
, if children swim every
day
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half
Change preposition
for half
show examples
 an hour, they became fit
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their arm
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arm
Fix the agreement mistake
arms
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.
Furthermore
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, swimming is one of the important factors to
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 in professional
sports
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 person needs to enter in
volleyball
Add an article
the volleyball
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team
Use synonyms
, they should pass some swimming criteria.
Moreover
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,
if
Correct word choice
apply
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any volleyball players
also
Linking Words
 swim every
day
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 to improve their fitness. In conclusion, nowadays, people's trend towards
sports
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 are increasing.
Although
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 some
team
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sports
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 should make someone's
positions
Fix the agreement mistake
position
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 high and it is great
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
 for understanding each other, going into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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team
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sports
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 everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to pass
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
sports
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 games. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
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individual’s
Change noun form
individual
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 are really important for
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 person to become a career in professional
sports
Use synonyms
.
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