The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The scheme below represents information on the creation of
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it could be seen that manufacturing involves seven stages. Production starts from
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
to the final product.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
process is manmade and requires professional skills and using various types of machinery
To begin
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with, the growth of
sugar
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
takes from year to year and a half.
Then
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, employees or special vehicles (
for instance
Linking Words
tractors) harvest these
canes
Use synonyms
.
Next,
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sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
get into a particular machine which crushes them.
As a result
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, they turn into the juice. Later, it goes into a limestone filter and
purified
Add a missing verb
is purified
show examples
.
Further
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,
this
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purified juice is heated up in a special bowl which is called an evaporator and turns into syrup. The next stage
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is a centrifuge. In
this
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stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals are separated from syrup.
Lastly
Linking Words
, these crystals get into the big can where they are drying and cooling
Submitted by slobodanatol83 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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