The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The scheme below represents information on the creation of

sugar

Use synonyms

from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it could be seen that manufacturing involves seven stages. Production starts from

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

to the final product.

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

process is manmade and requires professional skills and using various types of machinery

To begin

Linking Words

with, the growth of

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

takes from year to year and a half.

Then

Linking Words

, employees or special vehicles (

for instance

Linking Words

tractors) harvest these

canes

Use synonyms

Next,

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

canes

Use synonyms

get into a particular machine which crushes them.

As a result

Linking Words

, they turn into the juice. Later, it goes into a limestone filter and

purified

Add a missing verb

is purified

show examples

Further

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

purified juice is heated up in a special bowl which is called an evaporator and turns into syrup. The next stage

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is a centrifuge. In

this

Linking Words

stage

Add a comma

,stage

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals are separated from syrup.

Lastly

Linking Words

, these crystals get into the big can where they are drying and cooling

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

156 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do thier shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think intelligent children should learn with others together, since it will benefit for everyone while other people think intelligent children should learn separately and also should get special treatment. Discuss both sides points and give your own opinion.

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?