Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older. While others thinks that they should stay at home with family. Discouse both views and give your own opinion.

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Major guardians of the kids encourage them to leave the accommodation when they have already grown up. In the meantime, certain individuals think that they should live with their family.

Hence

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, I would like to discuss these issues from both views by giving my opinion. First and foremost, the obvious merit of moving to a new residence is that these teenagers can be grown by themselves.

Otherwise

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, the parents will still have to take care of them because they will still have to support all factors of living their lives. To illustrate

further

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, most expenses including food, electricity bills or other facilities caused by a kid will be paid by the parents.

Additionally

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, In case of them having their own ability to earn a living, the youth will no longer be a burden to their family.

As a result

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, all family members can fully feel trustful in their offspring.

Nevertheless

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, mutually living with their guardians, all children are able to decide to do certain things that have an effect on their future under the consideration of their family.

Although

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, they have an opportunity to be unsatisfied with the decision those are the best ways to construct themselves to secure life.

For example

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, the dress to go to any event is selected by the mother because of is the most luxurious and suitable for them.

On the contrary

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, their other cousins will not be alone and risk mental symptoms

such

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as bipolar and depression since both son and daughter, being in the residence, will support their temporary health at all times. Particularly, the elderly should always commute with them to see the optimised perspectives since they still are growing within the positive and kind globe.

To conclude

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, when the proper time has arrived, the teenager is supposed to prefer either leaving a habitat that lacks support from the family or contrast doing another one

that is

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responsible for looking after them .Thereby, Both offers have different and numerous advantages that depend on taking care of each family.es that depend on taking care of each family.

amittawinThu Mar 30 2023

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task response

Task response: The essay addresses the prompt but lacks clarity and thorough exploration of the two views presented. A more balanced and focused approach is needed to fully address the topic.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a mixed logical structure, and while an introduction and conclusion are present, the development of the main points is not sufficiently supported. More cohesive devices and better organization of ideas are necessary for clarity.

lexical resource

Lexical resource: The vocabulary and expressions used are adequate, but certain inaccuracies and lack of variety limit the clarity and effectiveness of communication. Aim for a more diverse and precise use of vocabulary.

grammatical range

Grammatical range: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are notable errors in sentence structure and tense usage. Focus on improving sentence complexity and accuracy.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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