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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today’s competitive job market, there is an ongoing debate about whether obtaining a university degree is the best path to securing a good job or if work
experience
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 holds greater value. Some argue that formal
education
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 provides essential theoretical knowledge and
skills
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,
while
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 others believe that practical
experience
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 is more beneficial for career success.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion. On the one hand, fields
such
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 as medicine, law, and engineering require extensive academic knowledge, which can only be acquired through higher
education
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.
Additionally
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, universities help students develop analytical and problem-solving
skills
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, which are highly valued by employers.
For example
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, nuclear power plant workers must have a specialized
education
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 in nuclear engineering or physics to ensure the safe operation of reactors. Without proper training and certification, mistakes can lead to catastrophic accidents,
such
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 as the
Chernobyl
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Chornobyl
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 disaster.
On the other hand
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, many successful individuals have built their careers without obtaining a university degree. One of the most famous examples is Jordan Belfort,
also
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 known as "The Wolf of Wall Street." He started his career as a stockbroker with no formal financial
education
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 but quickly learned the industry through hands-on
experience
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. His persuasive
skills
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 and deep understanding of market trends allowed him to build a multi-million-dollar empire.
While
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 his methods were controversial and illegal, his success story proves that practical
experience
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, ambition, and strong interpersonal
skills
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 can be more valuable than a degree in certain industries,
such
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 as sales and entrepreneurship. In conclusion, both
education
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 and work
experience
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 play significant roles in career success.
However
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, in my opinion, a balanced approach is ideal.
Therefore
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, the best way to secure a good job is to combine both academic qualifications and real-world
experience
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.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all points are developed with sufficient depth. For example, you might elaborate more on how work experience can lead to promotions or skill development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to vary vocabulary and sentence structure to enhance coherence. This can help improve the flow of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction, logical structure, and an effective conclusion that ties the arguments together.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples are provided that illustrate the respective arguments regarding university degrees and work experience.
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