IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is beneficial for both employers and employees if employees are given longer holidays away from work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often argued that giving longer holidays to
employees
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 is beneficial for both
employers
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 and
employees
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. I completely agree with
this
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 view because having extended leaves increases job satisfaction among
employees
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 and helps
employers
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 reduce the risk of frequent resignations.
Firstly
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, one major reason why granting longer leaves benefits
workers
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 is that it enhances their sense of happiness and fulfilment, which in turn increases their motivation and productivity.
For example
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, spending more time away from work allows them to feel more relaxed and energetic when they return to work.
In addition
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, longer breaks give
employees
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 an opportunity to release stress, enabling them to concentrate better once they resume work.
Thus
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, extended leave not only improves
employees
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’ well-being but
also
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 encourages them to remain loyal and committed to their jobs.
Secondly
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, another reason is that the organisation can retain existing
employees
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 by giving them longer holidays.
For instance
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, when
workers
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 are satisfied with their work-life balance, they are less likely to resign and look for new opportunities
elsewhere
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.
This
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 helps the organisation reduce the high cost of recruitment and training new staff, which can often disturb workflow and lower productivity.
Moreover
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, by keeping experienced
workers
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 for a longer period, the company can build a more stable and efficient workforce.
Therefore
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, offering extended leave to
employees
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 benefits
employers
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 by increasing staff retention and reducing unnecessary expenses. In conclusion, I strongly agree that providing
employees
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 with longer holiday
benefits
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benefits benefits
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 both
workers
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 and
employers
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, as it enhances job satisfaction for
employees
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 and reduces staff resignations.

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strength
You give a clear view and two good reasons, with a clear ending. This keeps the task on track.
strength
Linking and order are good, with easy sign words like first, also, and so.
language
Some words are big or fancy. Use more common words to fit the task and keep easy tone.
task
Add one idea that goes against your view to show balance and depth.
tone
Clear view kept in all parts.
organization
Good plan: intro, two body para, and a short conclusion.
content
Examples back up the idea.
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