IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed , rather than to work for a company or organisation Why might this be the case? . What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #self #work #company #organisation #be #case
In the modern world, it has become a common scenario that most
individuals
 are choosing to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-employed rather than working under a
company
.
This
 essay will discuss reasons for
this
 development and it
also
 provides some drawbacks of being self-employed. There are many reasons why most
people
 are establishing their own businesses nowadays.
Firstly
, income can be a major element for most
individuals
. It is obvious that today, the salary which is given to freshers by companies is comparatively lower than their boss , even if they work twice as their employer .
Moreover
, the working environment in a
company
 is very stressful for most employees because of annoying
people
 and over workload. It can see that in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
workplace
Add a comma
,workplace
show examples
individuals
 are comforting massive pressure from their
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 because of the deadline they have to meet in their jobs in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of time.
However
, self-employed can assist a person to relieve from these circumstances because they can work from their comfort zone.
However
 , there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 development. First of all, the risk element in
this
 profession is really high compared to other jobs.
It is clear that
 most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 start a business using loans or with other assistance so that they can develop.
However
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 certain times
individuals
 face dramatic loss as a starter but it can really ruin a person's career.
For example
, during the pandemic , most self-employed
people
 confronted a significant drop in their businesses because of the imbalance in the economy ,and as a ,result some ended up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bankrupt and closing their own professions.
In addition
, being self-employed come
along with
 a lot of obligations . As a manager
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
company
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 individual will be in charge of every unit like finance or Marketing .
Therefore
, the person needs to focus on all those sectors to develop a
company
 and as a ,result some
people
 become mentally depressed or anxious about certain things in their job , thereby causing some health problems in their life.
To conclude
, self-employment is a better option for most employees because it is profitable and
stres
Correct your spelling
stress
 free.
However
, it
also
 has so many drawbacks like mental issues and
high risk
Add a hyphen
high-risk
show examples
 elements.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: