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Band 7

Some say that many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be erased considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
The topic that whether the
retirement
age
 should be raised or not because the average life longevity is increasing in society, is so debatable among
people
 and some
also
 believe it should be done.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 statement that the current method of
retirement
 needs to remain unchanged because of two main reasons: giving new blood to the workplace and getting prone to losing consistency consequence of physical and mental problems. The replacement of old driving forces with new and powerful ones might lead to a great improvement in any sphere. It is my personal belief that despite several arguments employees are highly likely to become less effective after the limited
age
 of
retirement
.
Thus
, in order to create a work opportunity for young generations, it is the best way to give up work seniors
although
 they are very experienced. The moderate
age
 of setting up a carrier is still the same among young
people
 and delaying
retirement
 may cause to broke
this
 circular process down.
Furthermore
, as
people
 are getting older, they face several troubles both mentally and physically which deteriorates their work efficiency. It is a proven and irrefutable fact that most
people
 who are over 55 or 60 the oldest ages of a normal workplace have at least one type of health-related problem.
Instead
 of putting them under pressure again, spending the rest of their lives within their family where there are full of
people
 who are highly concerned about them and they may forget about any troubles would be the best way and
also
 leads to living much longer. In conclusion, even though the average life longevity is increasing now, I think the
age
 at which
people
 finish their careers should be maintained their current position because of the reasons mentioned above.
Submitted by uskanovjavokhir07 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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