The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The diagram provided illustrates the transformation of how
sugar
is manufactured from sugar
cane. Overall
, the procedure consists of seven stages which can be separated into four main steps: farming, crushing, separating and drying.
It begins with growing sugar
cans for about 12 to 18 months until the cans were ripe enough to harvest. There are two ways to harvest the canes, one is mechanically and the other one is manually
Replace the adverb
manual
which
the people have to remove the leaves by hand and chop the cans off.
After that, the Correct word choice
and
sugar
cane is crushed by the machine and extract the juice of them which is purified by a limestone filter. Subsequently
, the pure juice is boiled by an evaporator to remove the extra water from it and becomes syrup. In the following stage, as the syrup is put in a centrifuge, it separates sugar
crystals from it. Finally
, the crystals are dried out and cooled down and the process is completed.Submitted by 4949angela on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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