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Band 8

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
There is no doubt that foreign
tourists
 play significant roles in fostering the country’s economy through their visits to tourist attractions. I completely endorse that overseas travellers should pay more than local
tourists
. On the one hand, the
currency
 value of a globetrotter’s nation can sometimes be more powerful than a destination country.
For instance
, the exchange rate of a US Dollar is roughly 16,500 Indonesian rupiah, implying that
tourists
 from the USA have higher buying power compared to Indonesians.
Additionally
, imposing higher rates on international excursionists may strengthen the nation’s
currency
.
Consequently
,
this
 trend will happen because there will be higher exchange rates from globetrotters,
therefore
 resulting in increasing demand for the local
currency
. Despite being unfair to international visitors, a nation must prioritize and ensure the sustainability of its people. Having a significant influx of globetrotters will increase the local vendors' transaction of goods and services significantly, and since they have a strong
currency
, an increase in product prices will not hamper the tourism sector.
Moreover
, citizens already pay taxes and the money is allocated to improve several public facilities related to tourism.
For instance
, in order to encourage tourism in Bali, which is by improving the quality of roads and airports, the Indonesian government allocates a significant amount of cash to enhance these facilities.
Therefore
, Indonesians should not pay more for visiting tourist attractions because they already contribute through communal taxes. Considering the exchange rates of international visitors and collective taxes that are paid by local people, I firmly support the view that governments should add additional charges to foreign
tourists
.
Submitted by manapapuja2 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument, and consider adding counterarguments to further strengthen your position.
task achievement
Some points could be expressed with even greater clarity. Consider simplifying complex sentences for clearer communication.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument effectively.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
supported main points
Main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the exchange rate example which adds depth to the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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