The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line charts provide information about how the change in electrical devices in entrepreneurship and how much time people tidy their areas in a particular country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the proportion of households with electronic devices had significant upward trends,
while
Linking Words
the amount of time doing housework per household experienced a downward trend. In terms of using electrical devices, In 1920, washing machines had the highest
rate
Use synonyms
at 40 %, followed by refrigerators and vacuum cleaners which were 30% and around 0.2%. Meanwhile, from 1940 to 2019, the number of washing machines gradually fluctuated, it was at around 75% and had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
smallest
rate
Use synonyms
in 2019,
while
Linking Words
the
rate
Use synonyms
of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners were
dramatical
Add an article
a dramatical
show examples
increase, they had the same
rate
Use synonyms
at about 100 % by the end of the period. Turning to the number of
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
, in 1920, stood at around 50%. There had a substantial decline until the year 1960 which is around 20 %. After that, it
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
marginally until 2019. In comparison,
although
Linking Words
the number of electrical appliances was
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, it had a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
trend in the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of hours of housework per week and per person.
Submitted by evetanyaporn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: