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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children nowadays take sports seriously while others play sport in their free time. Is this a positive or negative development?

#children #sports #sport #time #development
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These days,
sports
Use synonyms
 are taken seriously by some
children
Use synonyms
 whereby others play these activities in their leisure time. I believe
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development because
children
Use synonyms
 who locate
sports
Use synonyms
 to
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 in their lives usually experience frustration and they do not
their
Add a missing verb
do their
show examples
 studies well. The first disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
case
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 is
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 likelihood of
children
Use synonyms
’s devastation in the end. Most of them devote their time to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 an athlete in the future.
However
Linking Words
, statistics show that only three per cent can realize their goals
due to
Linking Words
 some causes. To illustrate that, a significant portion of
children
Use synonyms
 are not selected
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 professional teams because of their inadequate skills and despite their talents, some of them suffer from injuries
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 young age.
Although
Linking Words
 their journey was bright in their childhood,
as a result
Linking Words
, they may become frustrated.
Thus
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,
this
Linking Words
 situation is often harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. The second detrimental aspect of
this
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case
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 is presumable
education
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 issues.
Children
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 who take
sports
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 seriously often do not pay attention to their studies sufficiently.
Instead
Linking Words
 of attending
education
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 activities, they opt to spend their time on
sports
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 situation leads to
fail
Replace the word
failure
show examples
 in their exams. Most sportsmen’s low grades and
education
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 skills can be counted as an example to explain
this
Linking Words
case
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.
In addition
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, unfortunately, some
children
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 may show aggressive behaviour
due to
Linking Words
 their competing addiction and
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 may cause
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 discrimination among others. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied in
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
’s physical development and discharging their energies, for me, its negative impacts overweigh
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 ones
due to
Linking Words
 their probable depressive health and
education
Use synonyms
 drawbacks. 46 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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