IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

SOFIA Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague who is leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter – Suggest a suitable date and time for the party – Recommend a venue – Propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

#sofia #manager #party #colleague #company #date #time #venue #food #entertainment #options
Dear Madam, I am writing
this
 email to you as regards the proposed send-forth party for John.
Although
, I have highlighted some logistics and plans for the event,
however
, based on the company's allocated budget, it's going to be as simple as possible. Actually, looking at the company's event calendar for the year, the planning committee could only feasibly fix the party on the 3rd of July, 2024 by 4pm after the close of work. It's going to be on a Friday
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that all attendees will have the weekend to rest. We would have loved to have it in a more exquisite hall, but m, after the final conclusion, we decided it would take place in the conference room opposite the workshop and training centre. Afterwards, we are going to have a dinner gathering on the field. Basically, Fried rice and chicken would be the main dish. Meanwhile, cocktails and other kind of drinks will be made available as well.
Also
, grilled chicken would be served at the dinner.
Additionally
, there would be indoor games to play and music for dance events. I look forward to receiving your feedback. Yours faithfully, Moses.
Submitted by peteromisakin on

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task achievement
Ensure there are no typos or minor grammatical errors, like 'it's going to be as simple as possible'. This should read 'it is going to be as simple as possible.'
coherence cohesion
The phrase 'could only feasibly fix' could be simplified to 'could only arrange.'
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task by suggesting a date, venue, food, and entertainment options.
task achievement
Your letter has a polite and professional tone, suitable for addressing a manager.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured, and the letter is easy to follow.

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