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Writing Samples
Band 4

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others having a range of subjects is better for a children's future

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
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Many
parents
Use synonyms
 want the best chances for their
children
Use synonyms
. There are some people who think that should be taught schools
children
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 capabilities,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 I think having ology is bright for a
children
Use synonyms
's future. To commence with, several
parents
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 want the best chances for their
children
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. There are
an amount
Change the quantifier
a number
show examples
 of advantages of should be taught schools
children
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 subjects. Because many
children
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 learn a lot of information in schools. They
also
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 learn
wordly
Correct your spelling
worldly
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
Firstly
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this
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improve
Change the verb form
improves
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broaden
Correct word choice
and broaden
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 their horizons. They
looks
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look
show examples
 at life
with
Change preposition
from
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different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 perspective.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is the best way to study. So most
parents
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 provide
children
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 with money for study. Whenever you get a place at university, meanwhile they
financial
Change the word
financially
show examples
 support you. Their
parents
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 have given us everything. When we achieve to goals, they can be proud of us and can be blissfully happy.
Thus
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, to focus on the
overall
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 development of a child they should be introduced to many kinds of subjects. Most
children
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 are not fully aware of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 choices .
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 learning
skills
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 are beneficial for the
overall
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 development of a kid. Learning computers or training for leadership activities creates a background to have
hands -on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
show examples
- experience for the future.
Although
Linking Words
 it is important to get a degree and take different courses to secure a job, interpersonal
skills
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 are
also
Linking Words
 assessed in the interviews. It depends on what kind of
skills
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 they are interested in.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 it will improve their decision ability. In conclusion, a range of
skills
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 and varieties of subjects is crucial for a
children
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's better tomorrow.
Therefore
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 it is important to understand and choose both these aspects for
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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