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Writing Samples
Band 8

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or assault, should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robbery #assault #adults
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In
this
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 period of the highest
crime
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rate
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, many
people
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 advocate that the agencies should punish young
people
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 who commit intense
crimes
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 the same as adults. They believe that young offenders are one of the main reasons for the increased
crime
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rate
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 as they tend to repeat the
crime
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. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
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 paragraphs
along with
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 a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that young
people
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 with criminal nature are taking advantage of our judicial system and are getting involved in a series of
crimes
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. To cite an example the young boy who was involved in a sensational rape case got released from jail because of the age factor immediately involved in a robbery case.
Moreover
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, gangsters are planning their
crimes
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 with youth because of
this
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 loophole in the system. Explaining some of the other supporting points in favour of
this
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 statement, it is true that nowadays, young
people
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 attract to easy money and luxury life,
hence
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 they tend to participate in illegal activities.
As a result
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crime
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rate
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 is rising at an alarming
rate
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 across the globe.
For example
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, a survey conducted in Hong Kong shows that
this
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 year minors were involved in more cases than
last
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 year. In conclusion, Law should not show discrimination based on age. In fact, they should get severe punishments as adults to avoid repeated
crimes
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 in future. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.
Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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