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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie charts compare the ages of
inhabitants
Correct article usage
the inhabitants
show examples
 of two countries in 2000 and give predictions for the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's clearly seen from the chart that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 within 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will grow in 2050
while
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 of the same age group in Italy's
population
Use synonyms
 declines. In 2000
Yemen
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 was made up of a significant number of young
people
Use synonyms
. Individuals between the ages of 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 were the majority with a figure slightly higher than 50%. ,
However
Linking Words
 in ,
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 numbers were three lower than their counterparts in
Yemen
Use synonyms
. By 2050 young of 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 numbers will decline in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy to 37.0% and 3% respectively.
People
Use synonyms
 between the ages of 15-58
years
Use synonyms
 percentage were almost half of the entire
population
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there will grow in 2050 to 57.3%. In ,Italy
people
Use synonyms
 of 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 were the majority of their
population
Use synonyms
 at 61.6%, but
this
Linking Words
 rate will drop by 2050 to 46.2%. Old
people
Use synonyms
 of 60 and above were underpopulated in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 in 2000 but their rate in Italy was quite higher. By 2050 old
Use synonyms
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will grow just slightly
while
Linking Words
 their
population
Use synonyms
 increase significantly in Italy.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, yemen, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declines" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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