IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Advertising influences people to buy things such as clothes and shoes. What are the problems caused by that? What solutions can be given?

#influences #people #clothes #shoes
In some countries, the improvement of advertising can be seen visibly
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run,
therefore
 numerous people are authorized by the situation, so humans
buys
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
 several goods
such
 as clothes, footwear and furniture. Purchasing
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
that is
 advertised is probably
Add an article
the cause
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 mistakes which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
belong to
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
products
.
Firstly
,
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
 factor here is buying unnecessary things.
For instance
, people prefer the
products
 which are shown on television and social media
since
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instead
 of qualities . In some
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
, individuals are faced with the problems of being not fixed clothes and shoes as
Correct article usage
the size
show examples
size
Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
show examples
 shown in
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 are not suitable for the customers.
This
 is because some organizers are lying.
Moreover
, humans want to obtain
popular
Add an article
a popular
show examples
 dress
that is
 trending
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 world.
Hence
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they spend their earnings on unessential tools
instead
 of purchasing confident
products
such
 as food, residence and health.
Finally
, the main important origin is financial issues. Turning to the possible solutions, first of all, an obvious step is that government should arrange some strict legal provisions which include factors not to promote low-quality facilities and untruthful facts.
In addition
, if the government did
this
 way, the issues can be solved. A second remedy is that customers should check
qualities
Correct article usage
the qualities
show examples
 and backgrounds of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
that is
 bought.
To sum up
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
false information and finance appear to be
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
 of the bad situations.
The suitable
Correct article usage
Suitable
show examples
 laws by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
confidence
Correct article usage
the confidence
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers in
products
 are always some of the best solutions to stop
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: