IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some say that electronics books will make traditional books disappear in the future. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #electronics #books #future
Some people believe that in the digital age, there is no room for print
books
, as the popularity of
E-
books
 is a steep increase. I firmly agree with
this
 statement since some factors namely availability and being free contribute to
this
 phenomenon.
To begin
 with, new technologies are going to change the face of the publishing industry inevitably. New gadgets and applications provide people with a situation to read magazines and
books
 whenever and wherever they want; as these
books
 and magazines do not physically exist and there is no need to carry them everywhere we go.
Additionally
, in many cases electronic
books
 are for no pay;
as a result
, many individuals can read even when they have no money
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
books
.
Also
, electronic
books
 are more environmentally friendly in comparison with traditional ones,
that is
 because a huge part of deforestation is associated with the latter,
while
 the former does not need
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
even a paper to be produced.
On the other hand
, some believe it is not possible that the popularity of
E-
books
 overtakes the traditional
books’
Correct your spelling
books
show examples
. As they are huge fans of the texture and even the smell of paper
books
; mostly the elderly who have difficulties with finding and downloading
E-
books
.
Moreover
, sometimes folks avoid reading digital
books
 in order to stay away from eye strain.
Consequently
, publishers continue to publish
books
 for their readership.
However
, just a small bunch of people have these kinds of problems and the new generation is highly keen on the advantages of
E-
books
.
Therefore
,
this
 minority has almost no chance versus numerous huge fans of electronic
books
. In conclusion, I assume that there is no chance for traditional
books
 not to be obsolete and someday
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 generation of
books
 will triumph on a global scale irrevocably.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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introduction & conclusion
Make sure to introduce the topic clearly and include a thesis statement that presents your main argument. You've done this quite well, which is reflected in the high score for introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
For a higher score in logical structure, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical sequence. Consider using more varied connecting words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Provide more detailed examples to support each of your main points. Use specific cases, data, or experiences to make your argument more convincing.
complete response
When responding to the task, make sure all parts of your argument directly address the question posed. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that relates to your overall thesis.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to express your ideas clearly and effectively. Avoid overly complex language that doesn't add value to your argument. Keep your sentences and paragraphs clear and to the point.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant, specific examples to strengthen your argument. General statements are less effective than concrete examples that clearly illustrate your point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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