IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 period of development of globalization, many communities believe that the young generation must get an education.
Whereas
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 others believe, the government should teach the elderly community to read and write. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
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 notion and my points of view will be discussed in
further
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 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
Firstly
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, I believe it is very necessary for a youngster to do their higher study. As the government highlights the new generation.
Moreover
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, the future is in hands of the next youngsters. To cite an example, a recent survey in Canada shows that families under the age of 27 tend to learn faster as compared to elderly people.
As a result
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, those under 27 have sharp memories and tend to seek knowledge faster and will try to be more innovative and energetic.
On the other hand
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, mature people should not be forgotten. As they might not have the same facilities at an early age.
For instance
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, 35% of seniors can’t write Hindi which, is the first language of India.
Therefore
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, it is important to be educated in order to become a role model for the youth in your family itself.
In addition
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 to ,
this
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 the key factor is that once, you become senior you will have to deal with everyday problems and family issues. Which
as a result
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, will affect you when you continue your study and can distract you easily. In conclusion, it is necessary to spend more money on youngsters for a better life ahead.
Whereas
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, older people should not be forgotten and must get the privileged of basic study. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoints. You should spend about 20 minutes on
this
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 task.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • young people
  • government
  • money
  • adult population
  • read
  • write
  • development
  • nation
  • improve
  • quality of life
  • investing
  • reduced
  • poverty
  • income inequality
  • funds
  • balancing
  • budget allocation
  • crucial
  • equal access
  • opportunities
  • promoting
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • positive effects
  • society
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