In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might no be happy to give up using cash

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It is undeniable that cashless payments will become the main mode for transactions in purchasing goods and services in the future. I strongly believe that
this
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will happen one day because not only it reduce the operating costs of the shops but
also
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will help to reduce theft happening in stores.
In other words
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, having
cash
Use synonyms
in shops means, the management has to become extra cautious about protecting the safes and
cash
Use synonyms
registers in the premises.
This
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involves spending on security personnel and systems which usually takes 40% of the operations budget in a store.
For example
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, a pilot project has been initiated in a supermarket in Singapore, where they accept payment from cards and phones.
This
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has proven to be successful as they have managed to reduce the operating cost by 30% as well and no incidents of theft have been reported so far.
Therefore
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, it is highly predictable that
this
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will become a major trend in the future.
Although
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this
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might bring advantages to the owners, some individuals may get reluctant to give up using
cash
Use synonyms
due to
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various reasons.
Firstly
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, some may not trust the technology to solely depend on electronic or card transactions.
In other words
Linking Words
, as all the financial information is exposed to the banks and financial institutions, people may feel that their privacy will be exposed.
Secondly
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, the chances of getting phones and cards stolen are high in
such
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an environment.
That is
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to say, if a person's phone gets stolen, there is a risk of losing money in a few seconds.
For example
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, a year ago my phone got stolen, and in the next instant someone was using my credit card and I lost over $ 5000 within a few hours.
This
Linking Words
clearly shows the reasons why would someone hesitate to give up
cash
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
all payments will likely be cashless but some may hesitate to adapt to
this
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trend
due to
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a lack of trust in the technology.
Submitted by madonnasama on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You have done a great job of structuring your essay logically, including both an introduction and a conclusion. To enhance your score in coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to make transitions between ideas even smoother.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your discussion fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Your essay effectively discusses why cashless payments may become dominant and some reasons why people might resist this change. However, consider expanding your discussion of the advantages of cashless payments and addressing potential counterarguments. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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