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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Others say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion .

#people #system #world #countries #law
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there is a current debate surrounding whether there should be an international legal
system
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 for all countries or whether each country should have its own law
system
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. personally, I hold the belief that it is essential for a nation to possess a separate set of
rules
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 and
laws
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. despite the potential benefits of a cross-border justice
system
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. on the one hand, the single law
system
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 for all nations is an ideal way to solve the problem of human rights.
people
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 can have a chance to pursue their passions
due to
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 the universal
rules
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. it is worth mentioning that many
people
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 are unable to make their dreams come true because of the restriction of their nations' culture and tradition,
although
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 their aspirations are totally beneficial.
Linking Words
as
Capitalize word
As
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 a result, they think that their lives are deprived by strict
rules
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 and
laws
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 of their countries. an international legal
system
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 can be favourable in
this
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 circumstance, as it would be considered carefully before being imposed with a view to satisfying all citizen's demands.
on the other hand
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, I strongly believe that each nation should own a set of
laws
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 and regulations. it is true that the legal
system
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 should be established based on the distinct characteristics of countries' traditions and customs. without painstaking consideration, a conflict can be created between the authority and local residents because universal
laws
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 can negatively affect their beliefs.
for example
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, in
viet nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
, the
tet
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Tet
show examples
 holiday is the most featured tradition, but a majority of nations do not have
this
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 holiday.
consequently
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, there is a high possibility that
this
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 tradition
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be abolished, which is likely to result in tension among
people
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. in conclusion, despite certain benefits of an international set of
rules
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 and
laws
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, I am still of the opinion that a separate legal
system
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 needs to be applied in each country.
therefore
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, it is advisable for governments to combine both justice systems in order to create the ideal society of
people
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.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the essay prompt clearly and comprehensively. Provide more relevant specific examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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