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Band 7

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world
People used to travel to different countries in the past, but,
on the other hand
, there are similarities between metropolises all over the world. The main contributor to
this
 issue is globalization,
moreover
, I would argue that the benefits of
this
 are far more significant than the drawbacks. The root cause of
this
 problem is the considerable innovation in the downtown. As downtown are becoming resemble each other, which are referred to have been developed. By doing
this
, authorities and citizens find it easier for economic and social growth.
Moreover
, the migration of people to the
cities
 contributes to the cultural blend which bridges the gap between them.
As a result
, there are few differences between urban as their development is based on other urban models and the merging of cultures. The uniformity of the metropolis indeed helps create bridge-building and promote positive changes downtown. It offers urban dwellers
with
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apply
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a multicultural environment which breaks the language barrier and brings the community closer.
This
 brings about the elite human resources as they are free to share their ideas and thoughts.
As a result
, it benefits both the society and the economy of those
cities
.
Nevertheless
, similar urbanization among metropolises can lead to the uniqueness loss of the area. Take Ha Long Bay, which is a famous tourist destination in Vietnam as an example.
This
 place is no longer enjoyable for traditional activities but is being replaced by economic and citylike activities including hiring a range of vehicles for travelling and staying in a hotel.
Consequently
, metropolitan activities are mitigated by the specific value of
cities
. On balance, there are fewer differences between
cities
due to
 the impact of globalization.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that the advantages trump the disadvantages
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task achievement
The introduction effectively presents the topic, but make sure to streamline your ideas to maintain focus. Stating the main point clearly in the opening paragraph can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to illustrate your points better. This helps in providing a clear context for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical connections between paragraphs and ideas. Making use of transitional phrases can improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is strong and summarizes the essay effectively. It clearly states your stance on the topic, bringing the essay to a coherent end.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear introductory and concluding sections. Arguments in the body paragraphs are distinct and focused on the topic.
task achievement
You address both the reasons for cities becoming similar and the advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural assimilation
  • multinational companies
  • technological advancement
  • transferable
  • homogenization
  • international visitors
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • architectural styles
  • public spaces
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural exchange
  • local identity
  • diversity
  • cultural homogenization
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