The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the line graph illustrates the average
temperature
per month,
whereas
the table shows the figures for annual
hours
of shining in 3 cities, namely
London
, new
york
and
Sydney
.
overall
, in terms of monthly temperatures,
London
and new
york
witness the same trajectory,
while
the figure for
Sydney
records the opposite pattern.
in addition
, the number of
hours
shining in new
york
and
Sydney
is roughly similar. looking at detail, in January, the
temperature
in new
york
and
London
account for approximately 5 and 10, respectively.
at the end
of the year, the aforementioned cities reach the same pattern as in January. in July,
while
new
york
's
temperature
hits its peak of 30,
this
category only fluctuates around 25 in
London
.
in contrast
, at the beginning of the year, the
temperature
in
Sydney
is over 25 but drops by roughly 10 to 15 until July. afterwards,
this
records an upward trend, accounting for 25 in December. regarding the shining
hours
, new
york
follows the highest pattern ( 2,535), whilst
Sydney
's shining
hours
make up 2.473, which is approximately double the figure in
London
( 1,180)
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, hours, london, york, sydney with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: