IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The given picture illustrates how many steps in this linear process in order to manufacture and sell milk.

#picture #steps #process #milk
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The given pie charts compare the amount of money spent on 5 distinct sectors by Japanese and Malaysian people in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, housing, food and other goods and services always accounted for a significant majority of expenditure by Japanese and Malaysian households.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of money spent on healthcare remained lowest in both countries. In
Japan
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, other goods and services ranked first with 29%,
while
Linking Words
 compared to Malaysian citizens, most of their income was paid out for housing
with
Change preposition
apply
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approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
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third. Another remarkable feature is that food always took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place in both
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
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 (with 24% and 27% respectively).
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a slight difference between the housing allocations from 2 countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was
Change the verb form
were
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 21% for
Japan
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 and 34% for
Malaysia
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, transport and healthcare were the remaining categories that by far occupied
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
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 proportions in 2 countries. In
Malaysia
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, the figure for transport was about a tenth, followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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only 3% of
Correct article usage
the expense
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expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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 that people spent on healthcare purposes. In terms of
Japan
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, it is noticeable that the spending on these 2 sectors doubled the corresponding figures from
Malaysia
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 (with 20% and 6% respectively).
Submitted by luudang97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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