The given picture illustrates how many steps in this linear process in order to manufacture and sell milk.

The given pie charts compare the amount of money spent on 5 distinct sectors by Japanese and Malaysian people in 2010.
Overall
, housing, food and other goods and services always accounted for a significant majority of expenditure by Japanese and Malaysian households.
Moreover
, the amount of money spent on healthcare remained lowest in both countries. In
Japan
, other goods and services ranked first with 29%,
while
compared to Malaysian citizens, most of their income was paid out for housing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third. Another remarkable feature is that food always took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place in both
Japan
and
Malaysia
(with 24% and 27% respectively).
Additionally
, there was a slight difference between the housing allocations from 2 countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
21% for
Japan
and 34% for
Malaysia
.
On the other hand
, transport and healthcare were the remaining categories that by far occupied
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
proportions in 2 countries. In
Malaysia
, the figure for transport was about a tenth, followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only 3% of
Correct article usage
the expense
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
that people spent on healthcare purposes. In terms of
Japan
, it is noticeable that the spending on these 2 sectors doubled the corresponding figures from
Malaysia
(with 20% and 6% respectively).
Submitted by luudang97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: