IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Gender inequality continues to persist in various aspects of society. What are the underlying causes of gender inequality, and how can societies work towards achieving gender equity?

In recent years, the topic of
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality has emerged as a significant concern for the general public.
This
Linking Words
 issue is rooted in a number of social and economic factors, and addressing it requires long-term and coordinated efforts from governments and communities. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality still exists. One main cause is traditional ideas about
gender
Use synonyms
 roles. In many families,
women
Use synonyms
 are expected to do housework and take care of children,
while
Linking Words
 men are believed to be more suitable for important jobs. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 often have fewer chances to study or get good positions at
work
Use synonyms
. Another reason is unequal opportunities in
education
Use synonyms
 and employment. In some places, girls are not encouraged to continue their
education
Use synonyms
, and
women
Use synonyms
 may receive lower salaries than men for the same
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several solutions can be applied to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 is the key. Schools should teach students about
gender
Use synonyms
 equality and help them understand that both men and
women
Use synonyms
 have equal abilities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, governments should make stricter laws to protect
women
Use synonyms
’s rights,
such
Linking Words
 as ensuring equal pay and preventing discrimination at
work
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, families and the media should
work
Use synonyms
 together to change old attitudes and support equal roles for both genders. In conclusion,
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality is caused by traditional beliefs and unequal opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, through
education
Use synonyms
, government action, and change in social attitudes,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be reduced in the future.

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development
To meet the task better, add more depth. Name more causes and give a clear plan to get gender equity. If you can, add a small fact or figure or real life example.
coherence
Make the link from cause to fix clear in each part. Use simple signs like 'first', 'then', 'also' to keep flow.
structure
Keep each paragraph about one main idea and check the length of paragraphs so the essay feels even.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling to avoid small mistakes, while keeping simple words.
structure
Clear structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of simple linking words.
clarity
Ideas are easy to follow.
content
Examples show real life parts of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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