IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
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Nowadays, there are many
sports
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 activities all over the world. Most countries spend a lot of
money
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 on
sports
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. Some
people
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 believe that the
government
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 should spend more
money
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 on the school and the university than on fans and
sports
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 activities. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the country can be more developed and the
government
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 can get its
money
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 back in the future. First of all,
people
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 can be more developed by spending more
money
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 on their
education
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. If the
government
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 will spend more
money
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 on
education
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, we will have many smart students. These
people
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 can positively affect society.
Furthermore
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, smart
people
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 can affect the economy by thinking and creating new ideas.
For example
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, Japan is one of the countries that spend a lot of
money
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 on
education
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. We can see that Japan is one of the richest countries in the world.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can get its
money
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 back. By spending
money
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 on
education
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, many students will finish their studies, go to work and have a good experience, because of
education
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.
Therefore
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, students who finish their
education
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 will pay taxes to the
government
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.
As a result
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, the
government
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 will get its
money
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 back by a tax which will be on the workers. In conclusion, many
people
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 think that the
government
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 should spend more income on the school and the university than on fans and
sports
Use synonyms
 activities. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 because the country can be more developed and the
government
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 can get its
money
Use synonyms
 back. All governments must spend more
money
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.
Submitted by hishamlatrobe3 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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