IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
Nowadays, there are many
sports
 activities all over the world. Most countries spend a lot of
money
 on
sports
. Some
people
 believe that the
government
 should spend more
money
 on the school and the university than on fans and
sports
 activities. I agree with
this
 statement because the country can be more developed and the
government
 can get its
money
 back in the future. First of all,
people
 can be more developed by spending more
money
 on their
education
. If the
government
 will spend more
money
 on
education
, we will have many smart students. These
people
 can positively affect society.
Furthermore
, smart
people
 can affect the economy by thinking and creating new ideas.
For example
, Japan is one of the countries that spend a lot of
money
 on
education
. We can see that Japan is one of the richest countries in the world.
Finally
, the
government
 can get its
money
 back. By spending
money
 on
education
, many students will finish their studies, go to work and have a good experience, because of
education
.
Therefore
, students who finish their
education
 will pay taxes to the
government
.
As a result
, the
government
 will get its
money
 back by a tax which will be on the workers. In conclusion, many
people
 think that the
government
 should spend more income on the school and the university than on fans and
sports
 activities. I agree with
this
 because the country can be more developed and the
government
 can get its
money
 back. All governments must spend more
money
.
Submitted by hishamlatrobe3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: