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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

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In the contemporary era, a noticeable shift in family planning has emerged and a growing number of individuals have a tendency is have their offspring at a later stage. I believe there are numerous benefits
such
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 as they can spend
quality
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time
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 together and preparing mentally, a financially better for their
children
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. First and foremost, one of the pivotal reasons why individuals delay parenthood is the aspiration of young couples to spend
quality
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time
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 together before they must devote all of their attention to the baby.
Subsequently
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, they can enjoy their life more with one another and can be able to understand each other.
In addition
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, they can prepare carefully mentally before entering a new position and learn more knowledge before becoming
parents
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.
Therefore
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, young
parents
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 no longer be sluggish in looking after their
children
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 and taking care of them in the best way.
For instance
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, some Western researchers said that having more understanding before childbirth can lead to lower chances of divorce after having babies and can take good care of them.
On the other hand
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, a number of individuals who concentrate on their careers first and
then
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 have babies can bring their kids a better
quality
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 of life
such
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 as a better education, an excellent study environment and even a luxurious life.
Moreover
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, having offspring early can cause young inexperienced
parents
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 to get into trouble and cause financial difficulties for them. For illustration, several young Vietnamese
parents
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 would be capable of enrolling their
children
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 in private schools where they get
quality
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 education and learn other skills meanwhile, which are not available in all schools because they have prepared for parenthood for a long
time
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 before having
children
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. In conclusion, the tendency to have
children
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 at later ages is caused by a number of factors,
such
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 as the
quality
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 of
time
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 they spend with each other and preparing financial security for parenthood. All things considered, it is my strong belief that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

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task achievement
While the essay demonstrates a clear position with a conclusion that reflects the writer's opinion, it contains redundant statements that could be omitted to enhance clarity. Additionally, there is a need for more specific examples to substantiate the arguments presented.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows an attempt to organize ideas and arguments logically. However, transitions between major points could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices sometimes may seem overused or forced, disrupting the natural flow of the text.
lexical resource
The essay benefits from a moderate range of vocabulary. However, some word choices are awkward or unnatural in context, and there is room for using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas with greater clarity.
grammatical range and accuracy
The grammatical range is sufficient but demonstrates inconsistencies. There are errors in verb tenses, agreement, and preposition use. Ensure sentences are well-constructed and complex structures are used accurately to convey meaning effectively.
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