The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#function #music #people #stress

Some people argue that the most vital role of

music

is to reduce the level of

stress

people are experiencing.

Therefore

, I completely coincide with the opinion.

Music

is part of our daily lives and we can actually incorporate it

Change preposition

into

show examples

everything we do. For the reason that we wanted to have something to keep us entertained

while

we are doing certain tasks. On top of that, we may add or bring more life into

things

Correct article usage

the things

show examples

that we are doing. From my personal routine, whenever I am cleaning my house, doing the laundry or folding my clothes, I always make sure that I am listening to a piece of

music

that is

something lively and ecstatic.

Consequently

, I am enjoying more to do all of my household chores more since the melody

as well as

the genre of the

music

keeps me going.

Furthermore

, I do not feel stressed and pressured to accomplish those tasks because the

music

makes me feel relaxed. On top of that, I cannot even feel that I am roaming and moving around the house all day long since I am preoccupied with the

music

I am listening to. Another thing why

music

helps us to decrease our

stress

levels is that some research proved that as we listen to

music

, it triggers our brain to release a hormone called

endorphins

Endorphins

are the main reason why we feel ecstatic and thrilled whenever we hear

music

. It replaces the

stress

level we are experiencing.

As a result

while

or after listening to

music

, we have enough

endorphins

in our body that we can utilize to release and vent out our

stress

. All in all,

music

is very advantageous when it comes to reducing our

stress

levels. As it can serve as a distraction

while

we are so preoccupied with a task that we are doing,

as well as

drives us to be more euphoric and brings colour to everything we do, in general, our lives.

In addition

, listening to

music

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

helps to stimulate the brain to secrete a hormone called

endorphins

which is the primary factor in decreasing the

stress

levels in our body.

Submitted by kmaegalilee on Mon Apr 03 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

358 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time, the popuation of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree