IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, it is commonly seen that high school students would like to have part-time jobs
besides
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 their
school
Replace the word
schoolwork
show examples
. It is believed by many that
this
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 trend is a positive one. I personally agree with
this
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 belief to a large extent, and I am going to elaborate on
this
Linking Words
 in the following. Working at a young age has several benefits for teenagers. In my opinion, the most important
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 is to become independent. In
this
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 way, employed youth can experience different situations in their life.
For example
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,
although
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 they are trained for a new job, they have to rely on themselves to think and make different decisions individually.
Moreover
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, they understand that they must accept the consequences of their actions, whether good or bad.
Therefore
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,
this
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 fact shapes an adaptable personality that doesn’t need anyone to find solutions for their various problems.
As a result
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, their self-confidence and responsibility will increase, which will be so effective for all aspects of their future lives. Another factor which should not be underestimated is that when juveniles have opportunities to try different part-time jobs, they can discover their interests.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
 condition helps them to find a proper career, which leads to increasing their chances of success and enhancing their mental health.
In addition
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, in the short term, youngsters can save money to reach their goals and help their family members. In conclusion, I think working alongside studying can help the young generation to gain new insights, identify their abilities and interests, and foster their self-reliance to create a better future.

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grammar
Fix errors in grammar, such as 'the most important ones is' -> 'the most important ones are' and use simple a, an, the as needed.
task response
State one clear view and add a brief idea that could counter it, to show balance.
examples
Give one or two specific examples from school life or work to back points.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear idea sentence; keep the idea to one main point per paragraph.
style
Use simple words and short sentences to keep a smooth flow.
content
The writer shows a clear stance and stays with it.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show cause and effect and sequence.
structure
Paragraphs have a clear shape: intro, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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