The gap between the rich and the poor is widening very fast. What are the causes and effects of this widening gap? You may give solutions based on your knowledge and experience.

#gap #effects

There is a tendency to divide the world into two categories, the rich and the poor, and

this

imbalance has been widening quickly. In my opinion, some problems in current

tax

systems

and

education

curriculums have worsened the situation and these policies should be reconsidered.

Firstly

, it is obvious that

while

the rich grow their wealth,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty worsens. One main reason for

this

phenomenon is the current

tax

systems

where business owners have advantages. Income

tax

is what employees need to pay,

whereas

investment

tax

is what employers need to pay.

Income

Add an article

The income

show examples

tax

rate is usually higher than

investment

Correct article usage

the investment

show examples

tax

and

this

system encourages employers to be wealthier.

For example

, Warren Buffett, who is a billionaire and an American business investor, pays less

tax

than his secretary.

Secondly

education

is essential to achieve a successful career and everyone should have a right to acquire knowledge at school equally.

However

, the rich tend to go to private schools, where more advanced curriculums and

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

facilities are provided,

while

the poor have no choice but to go to public schools or work.

This

circumstance leads to an increase in differences among students.

For instance

, high school is not mandatory in Japan and some students cannot afford to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

and end up suffering from poor job opportunities. To solve these negative outcomes,

tax

systems

should be rethought and

education

should be offered regardless of social status. If more taxes were required to be paid by the rich, the government could allocate

those extra money

Change the determiner

that extra money

show examples

into healthcare and

education

, which the poor need. In conclusion,

tax

and

education

systems

increase the differences between the rich and the poor, but I believe some revised government policies can help shorten the status gap.

Submitted by nanamach87 on Mon Apr 03 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The gap between the rich and the poor is widening very fast. What are the causes and effects of this widening gap? You may give solutions based on your knowledge and experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that animals should be kept in men-made cells. What are the disadvantages of keeping animal in zoo?

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time whereas pthers think tit is essential to kearn history . discuss both views

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?