IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Experts believe that, over the next decade, robots will be doing many of the jobs currently done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our modern world
robots
Use synonyms
 became more useful and sometimes they started to change
people
Use synonyms
 in some parts of work. Are there more benefits or drawbacks? In my personal opinion,
this
Linking Words
 process is
Add an article
an inevitability
show examples
inevitability
Replace the word
inevitable
show examples
 in our life.
However
Linking Words
, it could provide a
lot
Use synonyms
 of problems for our society. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I would like to discuss both points of view and give my own. On
bright
Add an article
the bright
show examples
 side,
robots
Use synonyms
 help us to make our life easier and better. Nowadays , they can change humans in a majority
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of dangerous
job
Change the noun form
jobs
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as in
army
Add an article
the army
show examples
,
police
Correct word choice
and police
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 started to use
robots
Use synonyms
 in fire accidents .
Consequently
Linking Words
, save a
lot
Use synonyms
 of lives and decries expenses for fire
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
equipment’s
Change the noun form
equipments
equipment
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, robot
devises
Replace the word
devices
show examples
 are saving a
lot
Use synonyms
 of lives in healthcare , because they can do
Add an article
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 of doctors better and more accurately.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, new technology could be
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 problems for
people
Use synonyms
. Especially, artificial intelligence has a
lot
Use synonyms
 of data about our world and it became smarter
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. Of course, programmers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
control it, but we can not predict the future.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time,
robots
Use synonyms
 and modern technology
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
 are not extremely safe, and we have to check and repair that sometimes. As a
resalt
Correct your spelling
result
show examples
, we have to produce a
lot
Use synonyms
 of parts for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
robots
Use synonyms
, and it could be terrible for us.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to wish our world increasing and glorious.
However
Linking Words
, we need to keep in mind, that only humans can save our planet against disasters.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
alive
Add a missing verb
are alive
show examples
,
robots
Use synonyms
 can live, but without
people
Use synonyms
, they are not needed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: