IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that children should go to kindergarten before attending Primary School while other believe that it is better for children to stay all day with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #kindergarten #school
It is often believed that it is good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
 to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kindergarten
 before attending their primary education
whereas
 there are some others who strongly agree that it is better for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
 to spend their whole time with their family before starting their primary schooling. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss both of the views and conclude
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with my own opinion.
Firstly
, going to
kindergarten
 before their primary education helps the
children
 to socialize
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and make friends. It helps in their social development.
Similarly
, it
also
 assists them to engage themselves with other friends and learn as
kindergarten
 offers various creative tasks for them . Engaging in various creative work and thinking helps in developing their cognitive skills.
On the other hand
,
children
 should spend most of their time with their
children
 before attending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
primary school.
This
 helps them to develop a good rapport with their family members and understand them well.
Secondly
, parents can help the
kids
 to build their self-esteem through skills like
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 and communication. I strongly believe that attending
kindergarten
 before primary schooling helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
 in upgrading and flourishing their cognitive skills
as well as
 social engagement. Apart from that, it helps the
children
 to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the outer world and helps in using their imagination and learning to get
along with
 others.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: