TOPIC: More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In developing nations, there has been a huge increase in the
number
of private vehicles sold to first-time buyers. The principal
problems
this
causes are pollution and traffic congestion, and the most viable solution is to impose higher taxes on
cars
. The primary issue developing countries face when their citizens start to buy
cars
is increased pollution.
This
occurs
as a result
of exhaust
fume
Fix the agreement mistake
fumes
show examples
from a tremendous
number
of
cars
which still run on fossil fuels
while
electric
cars
are still in the pipeline. The greater
number
of vehicles on the road is
also
responsible for a rise in traffic jams.
This
is because the infrastructure in developing countries is not fully developed in keeping with the dramatic increases in
cars
on the street.
For example
, citizens in Vietnam can hardly move an inch during rush hour when the narrow streets are clogged with hundreds of
cars
and motorcycles. A solution to these
problems
is to make first-time purchasers pay extra money for their
cars
.
This
would solve the
problems
by making the purchase of a car the low priority for most people as they would be hindered by the quite prohibitive price of
cars
.
As a result
, they would turn to other modes of public transportation
such
as trains or buses, leading to a dramatic decrease in the
number
of automobiles on the street.
For example
, the price of a car in Vietnam is nearly double that in other countries
due to
heavy taxes, making the possession of a car in Vietnam a luxury to most people. In conclusion, the increasing
number
of
cars
sold to first-time buyers leads to air pollution and traffic jams, but these
problems
could be effectively tackled by adding more duty to
cars
.
Submitted by khangtram1203 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Excellent job addressing the prompt by discussing the problems of increased car ownership in developing countries and proposing a solution. Make sure to provide more specific examples to further support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: