The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one coutry, by age group and location of residence, in 2016.

The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one coutry, by age group and location of residence, in 2016.
The
guven
Correct your spelling
given
line graph gives data
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the use of public transport in one country,by
age
group
and location of residence,in 2006.There are six
age
groups. Looking at the graph as a whole,large city
residents
increased from
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
group
to
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
group
while
other
residents
moved up and down steadily. In detail,there was
sudden
Add an article
a sudden
the sudden
show examples
rise in the number of large city
residents
from 40
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
to about 65
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
between
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
group
and
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
group
.After that,a decrease suddenly from amount 65
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
to 10
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
between
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
group
and
61
Correct article usage
the 61
show examples
-75
age
group
,
then
slight a rise.As you can see,the number of public transport
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
large city
residents
reached a peak of
aout
Correct your spelling
about
65
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
in 2016.Other
residents
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rise between
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
group
and
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-30
age
group
.Insignificant movement up and down from
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-30
age
group
to 61-75.
ther
Correct your spelling
the
residents
had a low
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of about 5
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
by more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
76
age
group
in 2016.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, residents, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: