IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one coutry, by age group and location of residence, in 2016.

The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one coutry, by age group and location of residence, in 2016.
#information #transport #coutry #age #group #location #residence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
guven
Correct your spelling
given
 line graph gives data
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the use of public transport in one country,by
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and location of residence,in 2006.There are six
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Looking at the graph as a whole,large city
residents
Use synonyms
 increased from
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 other
residents
Use synonyms
 moved up and down steadily. In detail,there was
sudden
Add an article
a sudden
the sudden
show examples
 rise in the number of large city
residents
Use synonyms
 from 40
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 to about 65
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 between
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.After that,a decrease suddenly from amount 65
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 to 10
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 between
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and
61
Correct article usage
the 61
show examples
-75
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 slight a rise.As you can see,the number of public transport
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
large city
residents
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of
aout
Correct your spelling
about
 65
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in 2016.Other
residents
Use synonyms
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rise between
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-30
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.Insignificant movement up and down from
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-30
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to 61-75.
ther
Correct your spelling
the
residents
Use synonyms
 had a low
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of about 5
parcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 by more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 76
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, residents, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: