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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it is the parents who have to make children good citizens of society while others believe this should be done at school.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #citizens #society #school
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It has been argued by many individuals that families need to teach moral values to their offsprings for becoming good members of the community,
whereas
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this
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to complete at school. In my opinion, I favour the former perspective;
however
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,
this
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 essay shall dwell on both viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs
along with
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 a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, the fundamental benefit of learning optimal things from their
parents
Use synonyms
 is that a family plays an essential role for their young ones
due to
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 close contact. In fact, when human beings grow up with guardians, they learn the things which they do in daily life, so
parents
Use synonyms
 should do better things with the assistance of
this
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 they may acquire knowledge of how to live in society.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 90% of the children have become good citizens of society and live together
as well as
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 give help to each and everyone in every situation.
On the other hand
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, the prominent advantage of teaching ethical values at educational institutes is that in
this
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 contemporary era, most families have hectic in their work so they do not give more time to their children,
therefore
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 the school is the best way to provide information to students with the aid of
this
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 they could learn easily as compared to
parents
Use synonyms
 as they give best awareness to reside in the public.
For example
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, it is published an article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 55% of the commoners have good manners because they get training
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their mentors.
According to
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 me,
parents
Use synonyms
 train their children easily with
this
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 humans would share their joy and sorrow with strangers with
this
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 with they
protected
Add a missing verb
are protected
show examples
 from brain diseases
such
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 as depression.
To conclude
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,
although
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 school and
parents
Use synonyms
 are both
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important to
learn
Add the particle
tolearn
show examples
 make good people of the general public, I personally believe that first view.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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