IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.

The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.
#information #people #countries
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The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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problems
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 when they go abroad and how the difficulties vary
according to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's
age
Use synonyms
. The greatest
prbolem
Correct your spelling
problem
 for
middle
Add an article
the middle
a middle
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group is sorting out healthcare,a problem experienced by 37% of the
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 stage.
However
Linking Words
,32
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
people
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whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged 18-34 find it hard to sort out healthcare,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 over 55(36
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) have
this
Linking Words
 problem. Thirty-five
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of 35-54 aged
people
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 find it has most
problems
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 with money.In comparison,the oldest aged group finds
this
Linking Words
 easier,and the percentage who have worries about money is much lower,at 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to their
funds
Change to a genitive case
fund's
funds'
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problems
Use synonyms
,only 2
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the oldest
age
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 group have worried about schools for their children.
However
Linking Words
,
people
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 in middle
age
Use synonyms
 have the largest population who
worried
Add a missing verb
are worried
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 about their children's school,over 18
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In general,all
age
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 groups experience the same
problems
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 to some
exxtent
Correct your spelling
extent
,but
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of middle
age
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people
Use synonyms
 who have these difficulties is much higher than others.
Submitted by 2975842009 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words problems, people, age, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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