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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

#people #money #celebrations #waste
There are those who put forward the idea that family
gatherings
 should be a well-spent event.
Whereas
 many argued that it is a waste of financial income.
To begin
 with, the family celebration is the perfect
time
 to spend a hefty amount of cash for the reason that it only happens so rarely.
For instance
, a family reunion of three generations happened that no one in the clan ever imagined to possibly occur.
That is
 why the majority of those people dedicate a hefty sum of
money
 to be spent on everything that they need on special occasions.
Therefore
, they got to show their love and appreciation towards another member of their family tree.
In addition
, it is their way to make up for those lost to
time
 and moments that they were not able to share with each other.
However
, there are those who oppose spending a huge amount of cash on family
gatherings
 as
such
 a waste of funds and finances especially if it will be allocated for a one-
time
-big-
time
 party. They have
this
 kind of mindset that the
money
 can just be spent on far more useful and imperative things.
For example
, monthly bills, educational needs of the children, health insurance and financial medical back-ups.
Consequently
, they feel more
financial
Change the adjective
financially
show examples
secure
Replace the word
security
show examples
 and do not burden themselves to think about where they can get the
money
 to provide for all of those other necessities. In my opinion, it is best to spend
money
 on family
gatherings
 and celebrations as it is the best
time
 to showcase our love and appreciation towards another member of our family line. Since these kinds of
gatherings
 only come once in a blue moon ,especially for those families that were separated by
time
, location and distance.
Money
 can be earned anytime even though it is a struggle for most of us.
However
, the amount of precious
time
as well as
 the heartwarming moments we can celebrate and enjoy with other members of our clan is something
money
 cannot replace. On top of that,
however
 hefty our cash is in our banks or wallets, it is useless. As it cannot purchase the moments we lost or at least turn back
time
 alone.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherish
  • nurture
  • strengthen
  • bond
  • create memories
  • enjoyment
  • sense of belonging
  • reconnect
  • unite
  • traditions
  • create traditions
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • moderation
  • budget
  • frugal
  • extravagant
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