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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #experts #children #language #school #outweigh
There is a widespread belief that pupils of primary
school
 should be engaged in learning foreign
languages
,
while
 others claim that it is better to start it at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
. I tend to believe that starting learning other
languages
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 when
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 is at primary
school
. The first advantage of giving
children
to
Correct article usage
the to
show examples
 learn
languages
 since primary
school
 is that young pupils will be more successful than students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 secondary
school
.
According to
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 of research,
children
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to take information more quickly than others.
Furthermore
, kids will have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in learning the
language
.
For example
, in schools
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developed countries use games, cartoons,
songs
Correct word choice
and songs
show examples
 to encourage pupils to be interested in the process of learning. If they begin learning foreign
languages
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 primary
school
, they will have
foundation
Add an article
a foundation
the foundation
show examples
 of
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 about the
language
 when they will be
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 secondary
school
.
However
, it cannot be denied that students of primary
school
 could have problems with their native
language
 during the process of learning the other
language
. As they just are
children
 , information related to their native
language
 and foreign
languages
 could be mixed with each other.
In other words
 , if they are totally in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning of foreign
languages
, there is a risk that kids can forget their native
language
.
For instance
,
children
 in Kazakhstan have lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Russian since
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
school
. It is one of the
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
 of issues in Kazakhstan connected with
language
. In conclusion, in spite of the risk which can be the result of
engaged
Change the form of the verb
engaging
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning another
language
, I think that it would be better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
school
 plan involved classes
foreign
Change preposition
in foreign
show examples
languages
.
Submitted by nuraiorynbassar07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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