IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #study #business #history
It is commonly argued more people
study
business
 than
history
. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that there could be more benefits to society if more people
study
business
 than
history
. One of the main reasons can be that we can use the past to develop the economy, we need more knowledge about
business
.
This
 means that studying the field can provide individuals with skills and knowledge that can be directly applied in the workforce,
such
 as financial management, marketing, and leadership.
On the other hand
, I disagree that we just need to learn the
business
.
Firstly
, understanding the social, cultural, and political context of economic development can help ensure that economic progress is sustainable and equitable.
For example
, the
study
 of economic
history
 can
also
 help us understand the impact of major economic events on societies and economies. In conclusion,
although
, I’m convinced that both
business
 and
history
 can be valuable fields of
study
, it depends on individual interests and career goals as to which may be more beneficial. But more people studying
business
 than
history
 at
this
 present in peacetime will help the economy develop in the best way.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: