Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or di

There is a widespread belief that all citizens under 18 years old should stay in full-time schooling.
This
writer completely agrees with
this
statement. It must be recognized that youngsters from 3 to 18 years old are in the improving stage of both physical and mental health.
Therefore
, that ability should be utilized as significantly as possible before children become older. The best choice to solve
this
problem is full-time study which students are educated skills to maximum level with thick and various schedules when staying in.
Hence
,
this
kind of learning can create brilliant pupils who will contribute a lot to the development of the state.
For instance
, in some developed countries in Asia
such
as China and Japan, each student from 6 years old or above always studies for 12 to 18 hours a day.
Besides
, the awareness of youngsters nowadays is worse and worse. The main reason for
this
issue is that children have so much time to contact with unhealthy behaviours which don't follow the norm. Full-time training can help the young generation gain more good quality and prevent them from interacting with bad things in public until they are mature enough to understand the complexity of society. In conclusion, it can be seen that full-time classes are necessary for educational curricula because they can boost physical and mental health
as well as
improve children's behaviour.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and have included relevant arguments. However, try to include more precise and varied specific examples to justify your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion. The main points are generally clear and well-supported. Nevertheless, consider adding a few more transition phrases and sentences to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which reinforces the overall structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically developed.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and provided clear arguments to support your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!