IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many developed countries are helping poor countries in the world.Some people insist financial aid cannot boost their economy alone.To what extent do you agree with this statement.

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Nowadays, financial disparities between developed and developing
countries
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 are a pressing global issue.
While
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 some developed
countries
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 attempt to alleviate economic challenges in poorer nations by providing financial
aid
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, critics argue that
this
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 approach alone cannot resolve the complex underlying problems. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement, as sustainable solutions require addressing deeper causes
such
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 as lack of
education
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 and internal inequality. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why financial
aid
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 alone is insufficient and propose alternative strategies. One of the main reasons financial
aid
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 alone is ineffective is that it often fails to
address
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 the root causes of poverty in developing
countries
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. Simply providing monetary assistance can create dependency, making these
countries
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 more reliant on external support rather than developing self-sufficiency. A significant factor contributing to economic challenges is the lack of
access
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 to
education
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 and basic infrastructure in remote areas.
For instance
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, in many rural regions, people live without
access
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 to essential public utilities, healthcare, or schools. Without
education
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, individuals cannot acquire the skills needed to contribute to their country’s development, leaving the nation stagnant.
Additionally
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, economic inequality within these
countries
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 is another obstacle. A small wealthy elite often controls most resources,
while
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 the majority of the population lives in poverty,
further
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 deepening the gap between rich and poor. To
address
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 these issues, experts suggest that a comprehensive approach involving collaboration between developed and developing
countries
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 is essential.
For example
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, developed nations can support poorer
countries
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 by providing expertise, technology, and infrastructure development rather than just financial
aid
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. Programs that expand educational
access
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 to rural areas,
such
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 as building schools, training teachers, and introducing technology-based learning, can empower individuals and promote long-term growth.
Additionally
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, governments in developing
countries
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 must
address
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 internal inequalities by implementing policies that promote wealth distribution and create opportunities for marginalized communities. With these strategies, developing
countries
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 can gradually achieve self-reliance and sustainable economic growth. In conclusion, relying solely on financial
aid
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 to reduce economic disparities is an oversimplified solution that fails to
address
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 the root causes of poverty. Sustainable development requires a deeper understanding of issues
such
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 as lack of
education
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 and internal inequality,
as well as
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 collaborative efforts to build infrastructure and provide
access
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 to resources. By prioritizing
education
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 and promoting self-sufficiency, developing
countries
Use synonyms
 can achieve long-term growth and reduce their dependence on external support.”

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the question and provides a complete response. However, consider further illustrating your points with additional examples or case studies for even greater specificity.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensively explained. Make sure to interpret various perspectives on the topic to showcase a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is logical, check for transitional phrases at the beginning of some paragraphs to enhance the flow even further.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but ensure that the conclusion summarises the supporting points effectively, reinforcing the essay's overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples and clear explanations, showing a good insight into the topic.
task achievement
You effectively tackle the complex issue of financial aid and its limitations with a comprehensive perspective, offering alternative solutions.
coherence cohesion
Use of language is both persuasive and formal, aligning well with IELTS expectations.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure development
  • human capital
  • skill development
  • self-sufficiency
  • corruption
  • mismanagement
  • institutional frameworks
  • transparency
  • good governance
  • international markets
  • fair trade policies
  • long-term stability
  • immediate relief
  • sustainable development
  • collaboration
  • political instability
  • climate change
  • health crises
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