Many developed countries are helping poor countries in the world.Some people insist financial aid cannot boost their economy alone.To what extent do you agree with this statement.
Nowadays, financial disparities between developed and developing
countries
are a pressing global issue. While
some developed countries
attempt to alleviate economic challenges in poorer nations by providing financial aid
, critics argue that this
approach alone cannot resolve the complex underlying problems. I strongly agree with this
statement, as sustainable solutions require addressing deeper causes such
as lack of education
and internal inequality. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss why financial aid
alone is insufficient and propose alternative strategies.
One of the main reasons financial aid
alone is ineffective is that it often fails to address
the root causes of poverty in developing countries
. Simply providing monetary assistance can create dependency, making these countries
more reliant on external support rather than developing self-sufficiency. A significant factor contributing to economic challenges is the lack of access
to education
and basic infrastructure in remote areas. For instance
, in many rural regions, people live without access
to essential public utilities, healthcare, or schools. Without education
, individuals cannot acquire the skills needed to contribute to their country’s development, leaving the nation stagnant. Additionally
, economic inequality within these countries
is another obstacle. A small wealthy elite often controls most resources, while
the majority of the population lives in poverty, further
deepening the gap between rich and poor.
To address
these issues, experts suggest that a comprehensive approach involving collaboration between developed and developing countries
is essential. For example
, developed nations can support poorer countries
by providing expertise, technology, and infrastructure development rather than just financial aid
. Programs that expand educational access
to rural areas, such
as building schools, training teachers, and introducing technology-based learning, can empower individuals and promote long-term growth. Additionally
, governments in developing countries
must address
internal inequalities by implementing policies that promote wealth distribution and create opportunities for marginalized communities. With these strategies, developing countries
can gradually achieve self-reliance and sustainable economic growth.
In conclusion, relying solely on financial aid
to reduce economic disparities is an oversimplified solution that fails to address
the root causes of poverty. Sustainable development requires a deeper understanding of issues such
as lack of education
and internal inequality, as well as
collaborative efforts to build infrastructure and provide access
to resources. By prioritizing education
and promoting self-sufficiency, developing countries
can achieve long-term growth and reduce their dependence on external support.”Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the question and provides a complete response. However, consider further illustrating your points with additional examples or case studies for even greater specificity.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensively explained. Make sure to interpret various perspectives on the topic to showcase a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is logical, check for transitional phrases at the beginning of some paragraphs to enhance the flow even further.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but ensure that the conclusion summarises the supporting points effectively, reinforcing the essay's overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples and clear explanations, showing a good insight into the topic.
task achievement
You effectively tackle the complex issue of financial aid and its limitations with a comprehensive perspective, offering alternative solutions.
coherence cohesion
Use of language is both persuasive and formal, aligning well with IELTS expectations.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.