IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #research #focus #world #health
It is argued that
scitentific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 research should be devoted to addressing global
health
issues
, but there are some who contend that there are more
prossing
Correct your spelling
pressing
processing
 problems to focus on.
This
 essay discusses both sides of
thos
Correct your spelling
this
 argument and why I partially agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 opinion.
To begin
 with, some argue it is important that adequate attention is given to solving global
health
issues
. Currently, there are many people who are finding it difficult to afford medicine to be protected from diseases. To address
this
,
Add an article
a scientist
the scientist
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 could strive to devise new and more affordable
alterntives
Correct your spelling
alternatives
 so that these people can live healthily in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
This
 is evident with the
Hepatistis
Correct your spelling
Hepatitis
 B vaccine as prior
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 its invention medication for treatment was
presated
Correct your spelling
presented
, more people were administered the vaccine and the inspection rate had decreased by a considerable margin.
However
, others argue that there are other
issues
 that are more
deservvving
Correct your spelling
deserving
 of attention from
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
. One of them is global famine, as there are some regions that are suffering from crop shortages
due to
 numerous factors
such
 as poor soil quality and pests.
Therefore
,
scitentists
Correct your spelling
scientists
 could devote
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 creativity
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
 genetically-modified crops that could withstand harsh conditions. Another critical issue is global warming, as it could pose a higher threat than most
ploghts
Correct your spelling
plants
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 global
health
.
Hence
, scientific research could be valuable in finding the causes of it as
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 as solutions to curb the effort of it. In conclusion, I agree that
while
 it is important that scientific research should be dedicated to solving global
health
 problems, there are more critical
issues
 that
neet
Correct your spelling
need
show examples
 to be addressed
such
 as reducing famine and mitigating global warming.
Submitted by trangthunguyen.tttn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: