The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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The flow chart delineates how sugar is made from sugar cane.

Overall

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, the procedure consists of 7 main steps, commencing with raw materials and finishing with refined sweet substances.

At the first stage

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of the process, after 12 to 18 months of being grown, canes are harvested by farmers or machines, after which those are transferred to the refinery. At the factory, raw plants are crushed and squeezed by a strong and giant roller to extract the juice.

Next,

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in order to get pure and refined products, the juice is purified through a tool called a limestone filter.

The following step is

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that the filtered liquid is poured into an evaporator to be heated and boiled until it becomes a thick and sticky syrup which

also

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contains crystals. To separate crystals from molasses, the mixture is spun in a centrifuge to remove liquid.

Finally

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, the factory dries and cools down sugar before being packaged and distributed to customers.

qphuongluong.3112Fri Apr 07 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Some people fail at school but end up being successful in life. Who do you think so? What are the most important things to succeed?

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

.In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. .What are the reasons for this? .How people can research this?