IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that job satisfaction is the most important factor when looking for a job. Others think that having job security is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #factor #security
Nowadays,
people
 encourage themselves to consume healthy
food
 and
exercise
 regularly. The main factor of
this
 program is to be healthier and avoid obesity. There are several methods to influence other
people
, which I will elaborate on more below.
This
 modern era makes
people
 being busier than in the past.
This
 situation demands a lot of energy;
therefore
, maintaining an eating habit is a must to survive in their work time.
For example
, many employees prefer to bring
food
 from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 to ensure they consume healthy
food
.
In addition
, the increase in obesity rate drives
people
 to have more
exercise
. If
this
 habit is continuously made, it would not only
having
Change the verb form
have
be having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health but
also
people
's
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
, which could make them more confident
due to
 a slim posture. Regarding the method, In
this
 digital era,
people
 could share their regular activities related to eating habits and regular
exercise
 on their social media platforms,
such
 as Instagram and Facebook, which could give a wider impact on society.
People
 who want to share the programs could do an education purpose for society regarding how important to implement these habits, and there are some risks of avoiding these habits, which could lead to health issues.
As a result
 of
this
,
people
 would be more consciously aware of following the program. In conclusion, In
this
 era,
people
 consume more healthy
food
 and
exercise
due to
 the workload and being fitter.
Also
, social media platforms are an effective way to influence other
people
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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