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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at schools while others think it is a waste of time. Disscuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Art
Use synonyms
 still remains
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the most controversial
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subject
Change to a plural noun
subjects
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on
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of
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it's
Replace the word
its
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 significance in the
school
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. Considering different perspectives, some might say that
art
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play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial role
whereas
Linking Words
 some might say
art
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 is not important to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 education. First and foremost,
art
Use synonyms
 is a
subject
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 where
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can express themselves by conveying the meaning behind each piece of artwork through their interpretation and illustration of it. Some support the idea that
are
Correct your spelling
art
show examples
 is an essential
subject
Use synonyms
 at
school
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due to
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 how it acts as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expressional and
relieve
Replace the word
relief
show examples
 mechanism for
students
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 to
portrays
Wrong verb form
portray
show examples
 themself. Considering the fact that some people are born with more artistic capabilities than other,
art
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provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 an opportunity for
students
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 to
further
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 express themself through
art
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.
Furthermore
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, it is supported that
art
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allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to showcase themselves through their artistic
mindset
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, creating an opportunity for
students
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 to show empathy for
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
as well as
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demonstrating
Wrong verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 their capability to perform
art
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.
Moreover
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, because of the creativity needed,
art
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develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 a
children
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 ability in aspects of critical thinking,
expression
Correct word choice
and expression
show examples
 through varied forms of
art
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.
In addition
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, many individuals still
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 in the field of
art
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,
therefore
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,
art
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 should still
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a significant
subject
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 in
school
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 to give
students
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 more options on what pathways they are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in. Regardless of that, some might say
art
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 is not needed in
school
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 as it is a waste of
time
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due to
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 less requirement
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the need for logical thinking.
This
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 is supported by the fact that
Use synonyms
art
Replace the word
artists
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 no rule and limit
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
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 lower the need of using
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
show examples
mindset
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 as
oppose
Wrong verb form
opposed
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 to subjects
such
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 as mathematics or science.
Art
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 can be a waste of
time
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 because to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
art
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 with thoughtful meaning.
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 must spend a huge amount of their
time
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 and effort
to
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apply
show examples
finishing the artwork.
This
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 led to unwise usage of
time
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 and management issues, distracting
students
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 from other subjects. Upon these factors,
art
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 can be a waste of
time
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 as it
fail
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fails
show examples
 to develop an individual logical
mindset
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 and
also
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 take away a large portion of a
student
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's precious
time
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 to complete. In my opinion,
art
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play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 an important role
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 because it allows them to express their creativity through their performance. Creativity can
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the biggest assets for some individual
therefore
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, having
art
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 as a
subject
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 in
school
Use synonyms
 allow
students
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 to effectively
portrays
Change the verb form
portray
show examples
 themselves through the illustration of their piece.
Nevertheless
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 of the
time
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 and lack of logical
reasonings
Fix the agreement mistake
reasoning
show examples
 needed, the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the artistic and creative
mindset
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 equally important to an individual
therefore
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art
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 should be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an essential
subject
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 in
school
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. It is up to one's choice to decide on their wise usage of
time
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, and so, spending
time
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 to finish
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 is certainly reasonable and acceptable as it
also
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 benefits them.

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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