IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people work for the same organization all their life. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Discuss both views and gives your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life
It is opined working for the same organization in their entire life is better than working for other firms. I strongly agree with the former.
To begin
 with, if you are a teenager or just thriving in working realms, it is better to participate in several organizations rather than staying in the same positions.
This
 is because each firm has its unique traits and produces different experiences that definitely benefit youngsters.
For example
, students who have done several internships or participated in many learning events unsurprisingly tend to develop high emotional management skills despite being in the same role or position.
In addition
, changing a company brings tremendous advantages
such
 as widening the network.
For instance
, if the country's economy is in decline state and the company lays off a large number of employees, having connections in the different companies can hugely support workers to hop to another firm safer.
On the other hand
, if you reach middle age and still want to work with organizations, cultivating skill and knowledge is not only reflecting royalty but
also
 increasing the expertise in the product of the departments.
For example
, individuals who is working with the same department for 10 years will know the products and culture thoroughly.
Furthermore
, with a long-developing career in the same place, it will be beneficial when you step up to manager levels.
For instance
, the board will select employees who have royalty and high knowledge rather than outsiders who know nothing.
To conclude
,
although
 joining the same business sectors for a long time seems to bring various benefits to workers, hopping to another sector
also
 demonstrates promising results if you are in the golden age.
Submitted by amittawin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: