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Band 4

Some think secondary and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#think #school #students #courses #university #careers #carpenters #disagree？
A segment of society thinks that learners should have permission to choose
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
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 their own
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
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, which would
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
 for
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. I totally agree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 notion and all the relevant arguments will discuss in upcoming fragments. To commence with, there is an abundance of merits behind
given
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the given
show examples
 notion. First and foremost, become professional as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different skills and interest, if youngsters choose
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
show examples
, which they want
then
students
 would hard work to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and make professional.
Moreover
, financial strong like if young-ones would take
admission
Replace the word
admitted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 courses
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
passage
Add an article
the passage
a passage
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 of time they can
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 and earn a hefty amount of money and
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 parents.
As a result
,
students
 have
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right to choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects
.
In addition
 to
this
, comfortable
consideraby
Correct your spelling
considerably
 if
students
 would study in
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
subjects
then
 they feel comfortable
as well as
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
 and get good marks in examinations. With
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 help of
this
, they can brighten their name.
In contrast
, it is not beneficial up to some extent, lack of knowledge like in these days, numerous learners take admission with peer pressure because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that age they have no knowledge and experience about it. So, elder people should take care of them in
such
 conditions.
As a consequence
,
students
 have less awareness. In the epilogue, it is discerned that
although
 there are various advantages if youngsters choose
subjects
 without
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 supervision
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 of it cannot be neglected.
Submitted by amandeepmanngat93 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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