Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

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The increased number of obese
children
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in society is concerning, and that lead to some people to believe that the
government
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is accountable for
this
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trend.
However
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, I would argue that it is not the
government
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to blame nor the
parents
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, since they do not have
control
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over their
children
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at school or the food they eat.
Although
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, some would argue that the
control
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of obesity is the
government
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's responsibility. I believe that the
government
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is not to be at fault, but rather provides aid to
control
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the debilitating issues. By providing mass awareness, and educating
parents
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and
children
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about its bad contributions to human health, like diabetes, hypertensive and other illnesses.
This
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emphasizes the importance of the
government
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towards the prevention and
control
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of weight gain in
children
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.
Furthermore
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, even though
parents
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are responsible for their
children
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's diet, they are not solely accountable for its growth in size.
Parents
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, as we know it, will always look after their
children
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's welfare and often served healthy food at their table.
In contrast
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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youngster has no
control
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over their diet they eat what they can eat as it pleases them, especially in school,
for instance
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. The absence of
parents
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' presence and peer pressure often leads to the unnecessary consumption of unhealthy snacks that cause obesity. In conclusion, I firmly disagree since the
government
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has no direct responsibility for the rise of overweight
children
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,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

parents
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could not be blamed solely either , as they were not at their young at all times.
Nonetheless
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
government
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can help by providing a mass awareness campaign showing the negative effect of obesity in
children
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through education in combined efforts with the
parents
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and school teachers.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
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