IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #cars #motorbikes
Some individuals argue that the most effective approach to mitigate traffic collisions is to increase the minimum
age
 at which individuals
drive
.
While
 I agree that
this
 method will be more advantageous in some aspects, I believe that harder punishments are considerably more effective and are already in place in several nations. It is undeniable that a higher legal driving
age
 will help significantly minimize road accidents. The reality is that many vehicle accidents stem from the recklessness of young individuals.
Moreover
, many of these drivers are underage, and
consequently
, their inadequate maturity does not allow them to fully appreciate the severity of the risks they pose when they engage in dangerous behaviours like speeding and drinking
while
 driving.
In addition
, increasing the minimum
age
 to
drive
 may guarantee that even the youngest drivers are adequately mature to
drive
 safely
as well as
 protect themselves and others on the route.
On the other hand
, I believe that
this
 strategy has limited success because many adolescents today still operate automobiles without proper licensing.
Therefore
, increasing the severity of the penalties for those who are found guilty of driving offences is a more efficient strategy to protect the safety of roadway traffic. In certain countries, namely England, the United States, and New Zealand,
instead
 of monetary fines and collecting driver's licenses, they can be punished by community labour.
For example
, a well-known player, Wayne Rooney, was fined 100 hours of community service and banned from driving for two years after driving with a blood alcohol concentration three times the legal limit. In conclusion,
although
 I agree that increasing the minimum legal
age
 to
drive
 may enhance road safety, I hold the belief that stricter penalties would have constructive impacts on alleviating road collisions.
Submitted by dangtranquoctrung01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: