Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

#crime #world

Currently,prisoners, who break laws in the world are thought to be popular so it is impossible to put control them.

Whereas

I believe that there are many ways to limit

criminals

However

,I would argue that many ways can be applied to minimize

crimes

. On the one hand , the reason the crime rate is high is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

they don't have an education

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

has led them to go wrong. So the

government

needs to pay attention and have the right education to reduce crime. Another reason is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

they need money which makes them do wrong and become prisoners

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Society is

also

important,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

in a society full of prisoners which is all the

people

there are the same . Almost all

criminals

are usually not afraid of the law

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

also

makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

increase One of the major positive

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

. it is that punishment criminal .

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

the

government

must

also

do its best to reduce crime.

People

who commit serious

crimes

need to

be punish

Change the verb form

be punished

show examples

properly and

sentences

Wrong verb form

sentenced

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to time in prison.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

offenders are not only confined to prison but

also

have to make them bear the pain they have caused the victim , and

people

who commit

crimes

again should rehabilitate

offender

Add an article

the offender

show examples

and have not the opportunity .

Besides

the

government

should

also

separate offenders so that

people

don't have to live in the world but are always afraid of the

criminals

around .

Finally

Add a comma

,Finally

show examples

each of us needs to control ourselves and not do bad things In conclusion, many

people

think no way that can be done to prevent it . To draw

conclusion

Add an article

a conclusion

the conclusion

show examples

, in spite of many

people

commit

Wrong verb form

committing

show examples

crimes

but

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

always

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a way punish

criminals

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Sun Apr 09 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts, and grandparents) were involved in bringing up children rather than only parents.

You recently attended a cookery class and enjoyed it. Now you want to provide feedback to the cookery school. Write a letter to the cookery school. In your letter: Describe the cookery class you attended. Explain what you enjoyed about the class. Suggest some improvements to the class.